He’s one of those people who actually mows his lawn, trims his hedges and shovels his sidewalk.
By his report, the pumpkins had sprouted up without being planted, putting him in the unexpected position of having to come up with a use for them. It all started about two months ago, when my neighbor came pounding on my door with a bunch of little pumpkins in his arms. The appreciation of the bar among homosexuals and its seedy location at the very end of Tower Avenue help to keep away most of the local dillweeds. I go to Molly’s because I want to drink undisturbed. But maybe it’s to its credit that I’ve never really analyzed it. I’ve heard many tales of the coolness of this bar: the cheap booze, the weird and amazing antiques scattered about, the mother of Darryl Hall’s child pouring drinks. And I’ll be damned if Molly’s isn’t a pretty sweet place. But tonight Sean the Locksmith and I end up at Molly’s relatively early in evening. Whenever I find myself at Molly’s, I’m usually there to “finish up.” Usually, it’s late, I’m half in the bag and I have little interest in anything other than the square foot of bar top directly in front of me - the magical zone in which I lay down money and it miraculously turns into booze. There are various activities and rituals and surprises throughout the night, but the main purpose is to see how much cold your body can endure before you either die, go home crying or prove you are more powerful than nature itself. The concept of Frozen Man is to drink alcohol around a fire when it’s really cold out. I will tell you that Frozen Man is held in the Duluth Township, just outside of Howdy-Dotyville, where a good bonfire/campout/drinkfest can go down without someone creating an ordinance to stop it. The party I’m going to tonight is called “Frozen Man.” I won’t provide too many details, like the name of the host, the date or the location, because I want to be invited back next year. This allows them to “cast” their parties. They have connections to all the good drinkers, and they know who the big-time assholes are. See, bartenders are good at throwing parties because … well, they’re bartenders. One reason to be nice to your bartender is that she will likely throw a party some day, and you will want to be invited. Television / Radio / Streaming / Social Media.
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